R
Recognize
The small bids for connection that are easy to miss.
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Book 05 · Connect
The Couple’s Repair Lab
You love each other and keep hurting each other in the same predictable ways. This is a twelve-week workbook for two: notice the pattern, calm down mid-argument, and repair properly afterwards.
41 pages · 8.5 × 11 in · Paperback or fillable PDF
The method
The R.U.P.T.U.R.E. Cycle.
Work through it in order. Each step builds on the one before.
U
Understand
The attachment triggers underneath your worst fights.
P
Pause
Body-based tools to calm down in the middle of an argument.
T
Turn toward
Scripts that replace criticism with curiosity.
U
Untangle
The story your brain tells about what just happened.
R
Ritualize
Make repair a habit instead of a crisis.
E
Empathy
A running inventory of what you each need to feel close.
What you fill in
Inside the workbook.
- A bids for connection decoder
- An attachment trigger map
- Cool-down protocols
- A library of curiosity scripts
- A narrative rewrite workshop
- A weekly state of the union
- An empathy ledger
Turn conflict into connection.
For couples who both feel safe. If there is abuse or you fear for your safety, please contact a qualified professional instead of using this workbook.
Not sure where to start?
Map the whole picture first.
The free Life Wheel takes twelve minutes and shows, on one page, which part of your life needs building first.
This workbook is for self-reflection. It isn’t therapy and doesn’t replace a doctor, counselor or other professional when you need one.